sweet dreams
by zillywhore
Summary: When the coolest kid you know has nightmares... what do you do? ( Post sburb. tw: language )


=== Be John Egbert  
Your name is John Egbert and you are scared. You woke up in the middle of the night and your best bro/boy friend wasn't beside you. You've been up for an hour now, maybe more, just waiting for him to come back. You aren't afraid that you're alone, you're afraid that he's alone. He's been pretty messed up since the game was over. He has these nightmares, then he gets up, and leaves for a while. He refuses to let you comfort him. Time starts to pass really slowly, or maybe really quickly, you're not sure, you lost track. You are sure that you've started to worry. The more you think about him being frightened and alone, the more you start to internally freak out. You are just about to get up and get him yourself when the door cracks and Dave is stumbling in the dark back to the bed. "Dave?" you call out to him. "Oh, sorry. I woke you up.", you think that's what he mumbles. He looks really flushed. You reach your hand up to touch his forehead and he's burning up. You pull him in for a hug, he's not good with the physical contact thing, it normally takes him a minute to comply, but it feels like he's holding on to you with his life. Maybe it's the fever leaving him vulnerable. "You had another dream..?", it was a statement more than a question. He nods his head, "yes", he says in a breathy voice, and you feel like it hurt him to answer you. "Dave, you have to tell me what it was about." You just don't understand. It's been almost a year since things were back to normal, and almost every time you're together this happens. You just want to be there for him, but you don't even know what it is that's so disturbing that he can't even fucking sleep at night. He hesitates, you can tell he wants to confide in you, but his pride won't let him. You jump at the sound of his voice. When he does break the silence it's only with a few words.  
"It's Bro."  
"What?"  
"He was my only family okay. Now I just have an empty apartment full of smuppets I'm too weak to throw out."  
His speech falters. His chest starts to heave. It's like once he starts talking, he can't stop.  
"It's like I wait around for him to come home, and stand on the roof top and expect for him to be there, and I just expect Lil Cal to move around in that creepy fucking way he does, and nothing happens. Instead the apartment just feels emptier every day."  
You hear anger in his voice now. You feel hot tears spilling on to your shirt. You reach up and take his shades off, he flinches away, but he was too concentrated on what he was saying to stop you. So, he tries to play it off by putting his head down and roughly wiping his face with the back of his sleeve. You put your hand under his chin and tilt his head forward, but you immediately regret it because you figured you'd never see Dave like this: blood shot eyes, flushed face, and soaked cheeks. That's about the time you make eye contact and now there's tears in your own eyes because you can literally see something inside him breaking as he weakly whispers the words "I don't know what to do anymore." You feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest as your best friend is coming unraveled right in front of you, and you're being introduced to a side of him you didn't even know existed under his cool kid facade. Then you feel even worse as you begin to wonder how many times he's sat alone in his apartment crying like that, wishing that his big brother would come through the door, and didn't. Now you get it. His older brother is dead, much like your own Dad, but you have other family, and he has no one. You bring him in closer and he starts to illegitimately sob on your chest. You string your fingers through his blonde hair and just try to let him know you're here. He'd always acted so mature, you always felt like a child around him, but now he was just a little boy crying in your arms. It was weird because you'd never been the dominate one in the relationship and now out of the blue you feel like you need to protect him. You aren't even sure you can. But, fucking Dave cool, calm, and collected Strider is bawling in your arms, and that shit is serious. Every gasp for air and pathetic whimper makes your heart sink deeper in to the pit of your stomach.

=== Be Dave Strider  
Your name is Dave Strider and the image of your brother laying in a puddle of his own blood haunts your dreams every night. The sound of blade sinking into skin and the life being taken from the man who fucking raised you rings in your ears as you try to sleep. For almost a year now you have not gotten through a night with out crying in a completely un-ironic way, which really becomes a problem when you stay at your boyfriends house. You normally get up and go sit in the bath room till you collect yourself, or go on a walk. But, you will not cry in front of John. But, lately it's become harder not to hold him when you wake up in the middle of the night and you're shaking from fear. Tonight you cracked and you find yourself sobbing on his chest. Fuck. This is so not cool. But, he asked. You weren't going to lie when you wanted to tell him so badly. Then when you started talking you just couldn't shut up, then you couldn't stop the water works. This really isn't like you. Bro would be ashamed. Wow, that's funny. Bro, can't make fun of you, or hit you, or call you "a whiny little bitch", because he's dead. Now you're apartment is empty. You'll never strife together, or freak out when you wake up next to Lil Cal, or complain about smuppets to him again. Now when you're sick you won't have him there to take your temperature and harass you about taking vitamins. Now you can't crawl into his bed when you have nightmares, but those nightmares where nothing compared to this. You could really use him now. But, that's ironic because his death is the very reason you're so fucked up. Right now though, you have John. That still doesn't diminish the fact that in a few days you'll have to go back to Texas. You'll wake up crying and no one will be there. You'll never get used to that. But, instead of worrying about that right now you just hold your best friend close, and spill your feelings to him like you've wanted to for so long.

=== Be John Egbert  
As Dave's crying begins to calm, you move so you're laying down and facing each other. You kiss his forehead. Then he moves in and crushes his lips to yours. You know he's ashamed for crying like that, you know he's sad, you know he's scared, you can practically taste all those things mixed with his salty tears in your mouth. "You need to sleep. I know you don't want to. But, you've barely been sleeping. I'll stay awake and make sure you're okay, I'll sing to you, I'll play with your hair, whatever it takes, I'll do it. I just need you to sleep peacefully for at least a few hours. You need that. You deserve that." you saw the bags under his eyes, you've noticed he's been getting dizzy lately, you know he really needs sleep. He looks like he's going to argue then his expression softens. He closes his eyes and curls himself up into your body. You watch him for a while, maybe a few minutes, maybe an hour. You watch him until his chest rises and falls is at a regular pace, and he's definitely asleep. He looks peaceful. It makes you happy in a way you can't explain. You're in love with him. You want him to be okay and you know you can't have him alone anymore. You guys are going to have to talk about moving in together. You are young, but what else can you do? He's always been there for you and now you'll be there for him. You'll make sure you're laying beside him every night until his dreams are sweet again.


End file.
